Rhoda G.'s Online Cafe

Made to Live Fully with Love, Joy, and Laughter As I reflect on some difficulties I am experiencing, I have asked myself a simple question:  Will this matter for eternity?  Some things we stew about or let bug us are not significant.  I realized I need to focus on what matters most in my life and ignore critics who just want to air negative vibes.  Some people will misjudge us and never accept us.  Sometimes our heartfelt intentions can be perceived differently from why we made a decision.   So, after having a bad week, I asked myself what brings me the deepest joy in this world.  The answer came easily, and I hope it comes easily for you also.  I want to share some basics of what gives my life value and purpose.  Thinking of such things brightens my mood and enables me to shut down the surrounding negatives that can drag my spirit down.   First of all, a strong sense of family including my aging parents,...

Healthy Mind Went back the farm where I grew up this weekend.  Had a wonderful time with much excitement.  Sunday morning.  My parents' home has a false ceiling in the dining room and living room.  This ceiling has been there at least 55 years.  It has looked stylish in its time with the block pieces lowering the actual ceiling for a homey look.  However, there has been a drawback to the ceiling.  Due to living on the farm, mice tend to get into the walls of the century old home.  The mice get between the false ceiling and real ceiling, then chew holes in the block pieces.   Sunday morning, my dad found a large hole chewed in the dining room ceiling and a mouse running all through the dining room, then kitchen.  The house was abuzz with hoops and hollers as the men chased after the scurrying mouse.  They got the mouse cornered in a hallway that led to outdoors.  My mom, daughter, older brother, and I were ...

Childhood Play When my children were in elementary school, our house was the house where several neighborhood children gathered after school.  Often, children were in our yard for four evenings a week.  As the neighbors were over, I listened to the games and play that kept the children engaged for hours at a time.  What I heard with particular newly created games was a give-and-take of negotiating about what the rules are.  They patiently spoke and compromised on how to follow the game.   The games could be anything from snow fights, hide-and-seek, tag, Star Wars, or anything they wanted to create.  My son and his friend thoroughly discussed possibilities of winning and defeat.  There were things that were not okay such as hitting, kicking....   Imaginative play was a constant part of the time at our house.  We had a long driveway, so the children made up hopscotch games (a bit varied from the real game). They also ...

Childhood Play vs. Bullying When I grew up, we played lots of cops and robbers, tag, hide and seek with cousins, siblings, friends. We teased each one another, laughed, and played by the rules. No one whined or griped because they were teased since they also dished out some fun-loving teasing, chasing, and pranks. My younger brother was all part of this youthful experience-he was NEVER excluded. However, I have noticed that some young people want to tease and target another person with fun-loving an tics, yet they want to be "untouchable." It is okay in their minds to "go after" their peers, yet can't handle when the tables are turned. This behavior can become an imbalance of power, otherwise bullying. My message is that often the person who displays this behavior and can't take any back wants power. Young people learn social skills through play. Fairness where everyone plays by the rules is a life skill for ALL. If one continues getting by with the po...

Social Skills for Disabilities Since graduation passed for my son, I thought back to the day when my brother, who is now 45 years old, graduated from his class.  The day was one of great celebration because he was born when society didn't know the potential of those with Down syndrome.  Children were often put in institutions.  As I reflect back, I was a big sister who was a naive and oblivious to society's perspective of culture back then.  Years later, I had have many conversations with people who informed me of the devastation and shame that went with having a child with a disability.  Often, parents would be apologetic about a child and say the child wasn't right.  However, parents had a choice how to respond to having a child with a disability.   When I was out in the teaching profession, I attended my brother's graduation.  By this time in my life, I understood the significance of such achievement and accomplishment for him. ...

This week has been a huge learning experience for me.  I am leading a class for vacation Bible school at our church, and I have 21 students.  I take these young children around to different stations such as crafts, Bible time, games, snacks, and music.  I have one student who has autism.  I have been learning about this young boy, but I do know from my education background that not all children with the same disability fit neatly into a box.  Each person with autism is an individual with specific abilities and strengths.  However, I wanted to share what I learned and what worked for me. 1. I learned Tim (I changed his name for privacy) is very observant and hangs back as the large group is doing a music activity.  I encourage him to join, and he stays nearby but distant.  He takes in everything that is going on.  When he didn't want to participate, I asked him to let me know if the children were doing what they were supposed to do and repor...

Above:  My brother's graduation over 25 years ago. Graduation Day My son graduated today with high honors for academics.  He is the first one of my two children to graduate and go off to college to study engineering in three months.  People ask how I am feeling.  I tell them I am so happy for my son that I'm not sad yet.  Perhaps, the day he leaves for college, I will feel differently.  However, I'm so thrilled to see him develop his gifts and talents and pursue his dreams.  He may have detours to his goals, but he is ready to conquer those academic pursuits.  How can I be sad about that?  I didn't raise him to selfishly keep him with me forever.  It has been an exciting journey watching him become his own person.  This graduation reminded me of one over 25 years ago.  My younger brother received a diploma at his high school graduation.  The day he walked in with the other seniors who he had been friends wi...

My brother was about six years old when Dad gifted him with a Brahma heifer to call his very own.  This cow was a bit spirited from surviving a tornado at a neighboring community.  My brother had a patient calmness about him and gradually tamed this new addition to the farm.  The cow became gentle enough to get a hug and eventually my brother put a cowboy hat on her head.  She didn't flinch as long as he was there hugging her.   This first cow created a passion and love for animals and the farm for my brother.  He felt so vivacious about farm work and learned so much.  The fresh air and open spaces of the rural Midwest enticed my brother to yearn for adulthood on the farm.  He was determined at a young age to grow his own herd, and he began by keeping the heifers his first cow birthed. At 45 years old, he has his own herd of cows, and every one of them is a descendant of the first cow he had at six years old.  He makes this his busine...

At a young age, I learned to be a responsible person.  The instinct to be a protective sister came naturally.  How could I not?  The love of a baby, in my case a younger brother, came so natural.  I couldn't imagine anyone not loving or adoring this small person.  At this time, I didn't know he had Down syndrome, but it didn't matter.  I think I was too young to understand what this even meant, and society wasn't open to those with disabilities during this time.   My older brother and I sang, talked, played, and made goofy faces with our younger brother. We loved it when we could get a grin.  He was easy to entertain, and we found him a source of amusement.  How could anyone see this child as someone who doesn't belong in society?  I later learned society generally possessed that attitude.  When my Mom and Dad first held him, they saw a beautiful child whom they immediately loved.  An institution wasn't an option. ...

 After my brother was born, we soon learned he was a happy, vivacious child.  He was alert and quite the climber.  Before he could even walk, he climbed everything.  Mom would be out in the kitchen preparing food for Dad and the hired man when my brother would crawl out to the kitchen and pull himself up on the counter of the cupboards.  He was quite resourceful when he learned if he couldn't climb something, he pushed a chair up to where he wanted to be. We had two chairs in front of the steep stairway with a beautiful wood banister.  My brother thought it was a game to go upstairs and be chased.  With the chairs in front of the banister, he was unable to take off and go up those stairs.  Guess what he did?  He climbed up on the chair in front of the stairway and swung his body over the banister and sped up the stairs.  He was already at the top and quickly crawling to the rooms before anyone noticed.   Okay, okay.  You ma...

Some of you may have seen my post about the day my brother was born and how proud I was of having a baby brother. I immediately took the role of a "little mom" at five years old.  I coddled him and spoiled him with attention.  He had the brightest red hair and big blue eyes.  He was a small baby- less than 7 pounds.  As a child, my older brother and I didn't know that grief that my parents were experiencing.  They found out that this beautiful child of theirs had Down syndrome.   This was during the 1970s when many children with severe disabilities went straight to institutions or were kept isolated at home because it wasn't typical to see people with disabilities acclimated into society like we see today. My parents didn't even know what Down syndrome meant, but the words, "Your child has mental retardation," caused much grief.  All the hopes and dreams we all have for a healthy, normal baby were shattered.  Society's skepticism and stereotype...

Usborne Books Hello again. I  have been reflecting quite a bit lately with the graduation of my first child coming soon.  Many memories whizzing through my mind.  My son is an honors student and has been getting so much recognition this senior year.  He told me that 82% of brain development occurs by the age of three.  As my Mother's Day positive, both my teens thanked me for the education they received before starting school. I can't take credit for all of it.  There are so many resources out there that are good for children to explore.  I want to focus on Usborne Books.  No, I'm not a saleslady, just someone who is passionate about the books they offer for children at a young age. The first books that caught my eye were the tactile board books.  The board books were thick and each page had a a texture the child could feel.  They were so interactive, durable, and entertaining.  One of the many books they publish is "That's No...

Welcome Readers!  This being my first blog, so I wanted to introduce you to the cafe of entrees you can read about on my online cafe.  As a farm girl, reading educator, mom, and author, I will be presenting a variety of topics.  These include: family farm memories, some of my novel excerpts, early literacy activities I did as a stay at-home mom, and disability topics.  My brother has Down syndrome, so I will share some of my personal experiences about him.  All my topics are personal and based on my ideas and experiences.  Join me as I share with you and please share with me. A little bit more about me.  Yes, I just wrote a fragment.  My work experience beyond being a mom for over 18 years, has been in education.  Reading and writing are my passion, and I've worked with students of all ages from the preschool years to sixty years old.  I've worked with family literacy to help parents learn activities to give their children an advantage...